Need Advice? I'm Your Columnist

I'm pretty certain I would make a fine advice columnist. This may sound like it's coming from out of the blue, but I have been an advice columnist reader for many years. I find myself mentally rewriting the response letters that are lacking. Do newspapers even hire these types of columnists anymore or do most print a syndicated column like Dear Abby?

I might have to do some research and then find out how to sell myself to newspapers that don't currently carry a column of that type. It could be lucrative for the paper- especially if I include plugs for certain advertiser's products and services in my letters. For example, when giving advice to someone about how to handle their anger issues after their son smashed the family car into the mailbox, I could let the writer know about the auto body special they are having at "Such and Such Auto" on Main Street.

When I look at that again, I realize I could never do the sponsor plug thing. I really hate it when you are watching a perfectly good television show where the two main characters are having a serious conversation while driving when suddenly the driver starts to tell their co-star about all the great features in the new Prius. It almost always is irrelevant to the plot, or so poorly written that it is extra forced. (Did I mention the Fox network is the worst culprit?)

So what do I have to offer a newspaper looking for an advice columnist that doesn't include additional ad sales? My witty and thoughtful approach to solving their readership's daily problems — be it criticism from a mother-in-law or getting blood out of just about anything.

What do you think? Would I make a good advice columnist? I could test it out on this blog. Send me your questions, one and all, and I will give you sound and amusing advice to make your lives better.
writer.elh@gmail.comComment