Dear Foster Farms,

I would like to express my gratitude for the box of Foster Farms promotional materials you sent to my work for me. I don't know if I received it because I bashed on PETA in one of my columns or if your company just knew how much I love your products, but regardless, thank you.

I love that I received a poster for National Corn Dog Day along with a tin of corn dog mints (with actual corn dog flavoring), corn dog tattoos and light up corn dog pins. What I really love is that you also sent me six coupons for six free boxes of corn dogs. While I might have enjoyed your chicken products more (like your chicken nuggets, because I know the corn dogs have chicken in them too), my family is getting a lot of use out of those coupons. I have never eaten so many corn dogs in a seven-day time span before in my life.

So, thank you Foster Farms and know that I plan on mentioning you in one of my future columns and many of my future blogs.

P.S. If you made a frozen product that was just the corn dog covering, without any actual corn dog in it, I think you could market it as a dessert. Fill it with vanilla ice cream or something and freeze it on a stick. I would totally buy it!