I Need An Info Session

Remember in middle school when the girls attended an assembly presented by the school nurse and P.E. teacher to tell us about menstruation? I’m sure everyone had a different experience, but mine included watching a video, which I think was made by Kotex, and having a Q & A where no one raised their hand. Then we were sent away with small bags with Kotex samples, deodorant, a bracelet with the Kotex logo, and some pamphlets about our changing bodies.

Most of us already had an inkling about puberty, and the girls who had already started their periods acted bored and uninterested, while those of us still terrified at the idea of bleeding from our vagina each month, sat in rapt attention taking notes. While this may not have been the most educational, it was at least something. It’s definitely more than what I got to ferry me into the world of menopause (or potential menopause).

I think I might be in menopause, or in the pre or “peri” stage, as they call it. I cannot be sure. I haven’t had a uterus since 2014, so it’s not like I could use not menstruating as a gauge. Why isn’t there a class or a workshop about this stuff? Why don’t women have someone who goes door-to-door or sets up a meeting in a weird church basement and shows a video and lets us ask questions and then sends us on our way with a swag bag? Of course, this one would probably be sponsored by Johnson & Johnson, KY, Dyson Fans, and some company that makes hormone gummies. Also, Tito’s and Barefoot Winery.

Seriously though, not a lot of people talk about this. Even my doctor hasn’t broached the subject of my impending pause with me. Shouldn’t they tell us that when we hit our 40s?

I called to make a doctor’s appointment the other day and the receptionist asked me what I was being seen for.

I blurted out, “I have questions.”

She sighed and asked, “On what subject?”

I wasn’t sure how to phrase it, and replied, “About whether or not I’m just hot because it’s 93 degrees outside, or if my body is telling me it’s time.”

“Time for what?”, I could tell she was very irritated with me.

“Menopause?”, I think I may have whispered this. I am not sure why.

“Got it,” the nurse, now completely in the loop, scheduled me for the nearest appointment—four months away.

So I guess it’s not an emergency? It feels like an emergency. Is it an emergency? I wouldn’t know, I have never been invited to an assembly or Sunday brunch on the subject. Will someone get on that please, and send me an invite? Thanks!